Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I know it's been a while since my last blog post, and I am sorry about that. The bottom line here is that I am lazy. I'm just not equipped to deal with my daily life, all it's little nuances and then blog everyone's face off about it. I just really wish I was. Perhaps it would help if I had a particular topic to write this blog about other than the wacky dealings in my life and how I react to them. Suggestions would be appreciated...

So...what can I talk about tonight regarding the dealings of the past couple of weeks? Well, I guess the ultimate was that the co-worker who I wrote a blog about a while back is no longer a co-worker of mine. Yep, his dumb ass got walked right out the front door. In a way, I am somewhat sad to see him go...strictly because now I have to find other means of amusement throughout the day when I am in the office. That, and I will miss him because he was such an important part of my life. Wait, let me go grab a tissue as I shed a tear...

Lately, I have had to do a little car shopping. And by little, I mean every fucking day, at a dealership for hours, exchanging punches with each and every car salesman that I meet. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy car shopping. It gives me a good prospective as to how much we've screwed ourselves in the past few decades. When you really think about it, buying a car is the WORST decision someone could ever make. First off, they cost a small fortune - unless you're buying one of those stupid Smartcars or even worse, a fucking Mini Cooper. Second, they depreciate in value the moment you get into the car and drive it off the lot. And third, if you're like me (and you drive a shitload), then you go through them every few years. To me, that is a HUGE waste of money and the worst capital expenditure that I can possibly think of.

However, I diverge... Getting a new car is a great feeling though. An even better feeling is knowing you got to stick it to the salesperson and the dealership on price. Ha ha! That's always a fun one for me. Last weekend, I was at a dealership for 3 hours going back and forth with the salesman. Another salesman even brought me a big bottle of water after he got himself one! Told me that he hadn't been worked over like that in a long time. Made me question if the guy was really married or not...heh.

I'll be sure to let you know when this whole process ends and what I end up with. I'm sure I'll have a good story about it. Until next time...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

That Bitch is GONE!

For those of you who watch American Idol like me, you're probably wondering why in the hell Megan Joy Corkey was still around this week. If I had the time and less of a life, I would have actually sat there for the full 2 hours after Idol on Tuesday night and voted for everyone BUT her like 100 times each. She is by far, this year's Sanjaya or Amanda.

The girl is somewhat cute, I'll give her that. But, with those damn tattoos and her stupid outfits each week, that takes away any aesthetically pleasing aspect of her. Her voice? Sounds like a giraffe dying. She made that clear to everyone after this week's performance. And can I say enough about how God awful her "dancing" is?!?!? What the fuck IS that??? She only has two moves...and both suck beyond compare!

Every week I've been biting my nails and wondering when the hell the rest of America is going to get that bitch outta there! Tonight...I got my wish! However, it is with great spite that she left that stage. If she was going to go, she was going to make me vomit...or at least want to. Guess what Megan...success! You finally did something right in your life! When she walked...or should I say, flew...over to the stools, I felt the nausea coming over me. What the fuck was she doing? Flapping her arms and cawing like a bird?!?! WTF?!?! I prayed for someone to rush onto the stage and kick her ass right off. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

You know who didn't disappoint me tonight? Simon. Yes, Simon Fucking Cowell! What can I say? I love the guy. He says exactly what I would say...but more politically correct. I absolutely loved when he told Megan that she was so screwed. She got what was coming to her...that cocky little bitch. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Then again, it would be so much funnier if it did.